His Family is Perfect-a timeless holiday reflection

We were saying our goodbyes to my family after a seven-day holiday visit. We were in an old grand train station no less- complete with marble floors, high grandiose ceilings and ornate woodwork all around.

I imagine similar goodbyes of years past took place right where we were standing: Families gathered after long separations, folks dressed in fine traveling clothes, hats on their heads, and square hard-sided suitcases by their sides. Saying goodbyes for them was likely followed by a long train trip back from whence they came. Their separation from one another more poignant without the instant communication of text, facebook, skype and the like of today.

And there we were-having visited the old train station with my then seven year old son, sharing one last meal together with his teenage cousins, his divorced aunt and uncle and my folks. It was time for us to travel back home via airplane.

My child, who has been historically reticent to hug people outside of his mom and dad, was locked in an intense embrace with his teenage cousins. He then made a running leap into the arms of his aunt, my sister. His uncle, who he has interacted with minimally due to the divorce, received multiple embraces as our time came to a close… and it hit me… his family, his whole family, is perfect in his eyes. Just perfect.

While certainly children are perceptive of and affected by family dynamics, even beyond their own comprehension, they are also more forgiving and tolerant of our messiness. My son does not see the brokenness in our bonds, the occasional dysfunction in our interactions, the sadness in his uncles eyes (or does he?) or even the disapproval of his grandmother.

He just sees what he needs right then-his family who loves him, enjoys him, (well the teenage cousins mostly enjoy him) and wants to be with them.

He does not think about the unspoken history and hurts that I see. He is not aware of my disappointment in missed opportunities to connect; he does not feel hurt or annoyance over passive critiques dropped here and there.

He thinks, sees, hears, and feels the perfectly imperfect love that surrounds him. His family is perfect.

Thanks for the reminder kid.