In honor of the half century mark of me and many of my peers, I wrote a little ditty about my first month of 50 to the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”. I took a few liberties with the order and quantities of happenings.
On my first day of 50, the universe gave to me,
A referral to a colonoscopy.
On my second day of 50, the universe gave to me,
Two compression hose,
And a referral to a colonoscopy.
On the third day of 50, the universe gave to me,
Three new wrinkles,
Two compression hose,
And a referral to a colonoscopy.
On the fourth day of 50, the universe gave to me,
Four varicose veins,
Three new wrinkles,
Two compression hose,
And a referral to a colonoscopy.
On the fifth day of 50, the universe gave to me,
Five memory lapses,
Four varicose veins,
Three new wrinkles,
Two compression hose,
And a referral to a colonoscopy.
On the sixth day of 50, the universe gave to me,
Six retinal products,
Five memory lapses,
Four varicose veins,
Three new wrinkles,
Two compression hose,
And a referral to a colonoscopy.
On the seventh day of 50, the universe gave to me,
Seven hot flashes,
Six retinal products,
Five memory lapses,
Four varicose veins,
Three new wrinkles,
Two compression hose,
And a referral to a colonoscopy.
On the eighth day of 50, the universe gave to me,
Eight muscles aching,
Seven hot flashes,
Six retinal products,
Five memory lapses,
Four varicose veins,
Three new wrinkles,
Two compression hose,
And a referral to a colonoscopy.
On the ninth day of 50, the universe gave to me,
Nine reading glasses,
Eight muscles aching,
Seven hot flashes,
Six retinal products,
Five memory lapses,
Four varicose veins,
Three new wrinkles,
Two compression hose,
And a referral to a colonoscopy.
On the tenth day of 50, the universe gave to me,
Ten invites to AARP,
Nine reading glasses,
Eight muscles aching,
Seven hot flashes,
Six retinal products,
Five memory lapses,
Four varicose veins,
Three new wrinkles,
Two compression hose
And a referral to a colonoscopy.
On the eleventh day of 50, the universe gave to me,
Eleven hairs a graying,
Ten invites to AARP,
Nine reading glasses,
Eight muscles aching,
Seven hot flashes,
Six retinal products,
Five memory lapses,
Four varicose veins,
Three new wrinkles,
Two compression hose,
And a referral to a colonoscopy.
On the twelfth day of 50, the universe gave to me,
Twelve antacids,
Eleven hairs a graying,
Ten invites to AARP,
Nine reading glasses,
Eight muscles aching,
Seven hot flashes,
Six retinal products,
Five memory lapses,
Four varicose veins,
Three new wrinkles,
Two compression hose,
And a referral to a colonoscopy!
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